zeldathemes
Everything About Anything
Hello there, and welcome to where my mind goes to auto-pilot and I find some awesome people that I can relate too. I'm Emme. Anything else you wish to know or want a conversation, just go ahead and go to my ask.

candidcatharsis:

so at work our store accidently ordered 700 khakis instead of the 70 we were supposed to get. the khakis in these pics i took ain’t even an eighth probably of all the fucking khakis we have stuffed in the back rooms. we have too many god damn khakis. no one should have to witness this layer of khaki hell. this shit ain’t right. this is all kinds of fucked up. there are too many fucking khakis. too many.

handjob:

getting that look from your parents when your sibling curses

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tarargh:

i only have two speed settings for blogging: “makes you wonder if theyre even still active” or “your entire dash is nothing but me”

lemondifficult:

"Haha! Americans don’t have free healthcare!"

Yeah it’s actually a serious problem people are literally dying can this stop being a silly nationalistic insult

dylanohcryin:

do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do

Men fear witches because they take their power from the earth without poisoning the soil.

touchingtennantshair:

thewaywardqueen:

jessiphia:

I just…. there is so much wrong with this like THIS IS A SONG FOR PLUS SIZED POSITIVITY IN A WORLD WHERE THERE BASICALLY IS NONE and thin people STILL have to make it all about them and their feelings while girls are literally KILLING THEMSELVES out here to fit into a standard of beauty that should be considered arbitrary. 

I just. I need to sit down a moment I am literally so mad. 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY BONES???

IN THE SONG SHE SINGS “FUCK THOSE SKINNY BITCHES- /NAH IM JUST PLAYING/ I KNOW YOU THINK YOUR FAT BUT EVERY INCH OF YOU IS PERFECT FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP’

SHE LITERALLY SINGS THATS SHES KIDDING AND SHE THINKS YOUR PERFECT

SO YH FUCK THESE COMMENTERS BECAUSE YH THERE MAYBE SOME OTHER ISSUES WITH THE SONG BUT IM NOT DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT LOOK UP LYRICS

DEAR SKINNY GIRLS COMPLAINING: I’M SORRY THAT WHEN SOMEONE FINALLY WROTE A SONG THAT TELS ME I’M BEAUTIFUL, IT MADE YOU FEEL BAD (EVEN THOUGH IT’S BODY POSITIVE FOR ALL TYPES). IT FEELS FUCKING AWFUL, DOESN’T IT.

the-real-actual-doctor:

megisqueenofhell:

shouldnt:

THE FACT THAT THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC SOCIETY TOLD AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS THAT TEENS SHOULD NOT BE UP BEFORE 8:30 AND ONLY 15% OF SCHOOLS LISTENED ANGERS ME SO MUCH

I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT SIX IN THE MORNING WHAT THE HELL

I have to get up at 5:45 at the very latest. 5:15 if I want to make it to the bus on time.

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
naturepunk:

lionsilverwolf:

naturepunk:

naturepunk:

So I cracked three eggs, and every one of them had double yolks. Is that some kind of record? 

I found a giant egg in the nest box today so I cracked it open and it had three yolks in it and I’m just so done with chickens right now. 



Your chickens are nuts.


I apparently need to buy a lottery ticket because reportedly, the chances of getting one double-yolked egg are 1 in 1,000, and the chances of getting one triple-yolk egg are at 1 in one billion. 

naturepunk:

lionsilverwolf:

naturepunk:

naturepunk:

So I cracked three eggs, and every one of them had double yolks. Is that some kind of record? 

I found a giant egg in the nest box today so I cracked it open and it had three yolks in it and I’m just so done with chickens right now. 

Your chickens are nuts.

I apparently need to buy a lottery ticket because reportedly, the chances of getting one double-yolked egg are 1 in 1,000, and the chances of getting one triple-yolk egg are at 1 in one billion. 

qualitea-brit:

heyfunniest:

Bunny hopping on snow.

that bunny is snow

qualitea-brit:

heyfunniest:

Bunny hopping on snow.

that bunny is snow

pandaspwnz:

farfrompaid:

You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP THIS MINDSET YOU WILL GET SOOO MUCH CONFIDENCE

mayakern:

sometimes i forget how gay i am

I’m Chinese, so I wonder if non-Chinese understand

itslikethatfrenchthing:

salvadorolliesout:

superjellycake:

mydollyaviana:

that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name.

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but OP how could you not tell them the best part

“hua ping”/flower vase is chinese slang for “camp gay”

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I—

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